5 TIPS TO AVOID NEGATIVITY

Now this isn’t a lecture post where I’m telling you never listen to negativity or be negative again, but don’t you just wish sometimes after a mood swing you could rewind. Believe me I’m not all smiles strolling down the streets – I get my down days like many, but I am slowly trying to avoid negative things, people, thoughts whatever it may be. Avoiding the negative bug is proving difficult but I’m gonna give it a good go so without further ado…

1) Avoid negative people

Easier said than done because there is always one moaning mertal and yes sometimes it can be me on the odd days (so that day avoid me) no really I wouldn’t blame you – please do. Anyway, the point is if you are getting negative vibes from someone well then their negativity is going to rub off on you so ditch them and their negativity. If you can’t avoid them then try to be optimistic and turn their negatives into your positives.

2) Don’t be scared to follow your dreams

Step out of your comfort zone and do you, it doesn’t matter what other people think as long as you are happy. One part of me worries like hell what other people think but then there’s another more adventurous part that doesn’t give a crap what people think, believe me I wish I could choose that half to make the whole. I get stuck into a routine and I don’t really like change, and in all honesty the past couple of years have been a lot of fluctuation so you’d think I’d be used to it by now. I’m not. Will I ever be? I don’t know. But what I do know I will always push myself to achieve my goals despite others and their opinions.

3) Say NO

You’ve probably seen this pop up a lot in my blog posts, and I am still learning. The key to avoiding negativity is not doing something you don’t want to do, never push yourself to please someone else. Don’t get me wrong we’ve all done something for the sake of someone else’s happiness, but in reality who’s happiness is more important? How can you make someone else happy if you’re not happy? One thing I have taught myself is that it is essential for me to know my priorities,  for example if I am looking after my brother or want to spend time with him then I need to learn to say no to going to a coffee shop with my friend without feeling guilty. If I want to spend the weekend with my boyfriend rather than going to get drunk with the girls then that’s ok too, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad friend. Sod the ‘she spends too much time with him’ if that’s who I want to spend my time with I will. If they are your true friends they will always understand and if they don’t then they aren’t true friends. (By the way I don’t always ditch night outs with my gals I do love a good cocktail catch up really) but sometimes if I’m not feeling it I won’t be afraid to say no.

4) Don’t compare yourself to others

Social media makes it a bit difficult to not compare yourself to others especially when you see stunning bikini pictures or amazing flat lays and somebody with thousands of followers, but if you compare yourself then your never going to feel good enough. Set your own milestones and hit each one for you and only you don’t do it to be like anyone else or impress anyone else. Of course acknowledge other people and their work and take inspiration but ensure you don’t question yourself. If you know you are doing your best then that’s all that matters – always believe in yourself.

5) Accept that not everybody is going to be a fan of you

It’s not a nice feeling to not be liked, but do you like everyone you come across? I bet the answer is no. So how can we expect everybody to like us? I’m a naturally loud and confident person and I bet that can bug others, and that’s absolutely fine because I’m not going to be everybody’s cup of tea likewise everybody isn’t mine. A massive thing that blogging has taught me is that not everybody is going to support you or like the stuff you do. I have received negative comments but they are nothing compare to the positive ones. Throughout my blogging process I have come to realise that it’s the people I would have expected to support me that don’t bother yet strangers and the people you don’t expect offer great support. Crazy world we live in eyy?

THE TIPS

Blog until your heart is content, whether it be someone laugh at it or love it – you’ve done what you wanted to do.

Follow those dreams – ditch your job if it’s not your dream one and reach or what you want to do.

Smile if someone throws negativity at you.

As the old saying goes…  those who mind don’t matter, and those whose matter don’t mind.

No Negatives Vibes please…

over and out x

 

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The Real Reason I’ve taken a blogging break this week…


Anybody that knows me or that keeps up with my blog and social media knows that majority of the time I am posting on my blog at least 2-3 times a week, I try my best to work on my website everyday whether it be writing content or taking pictures. I get home from an 8 hour shift and I am straight back to my desk typing away and don’t get me wrong I bloody love it, but sometimes we all need a break even from the things we adore. This week I’ve felt down in the dumps and also haven’t been able to eat properly because it feels like I’m swallowing razor blades, yet despite feeling groggy that isn’t actually the reason I have taken a blogging break this week. Here is the real reason…

MY BROTHER IS.

On Sunday I arrived home around tea time, I went straight into my brother who welcomed me with the loveliest smile and said that he had missed me (I’d only been gone for a night) but still. I sat on his bed and we talked for a while and told each other  jokes – I was laughing and best of all so was he.

People reading this that have siblings might think well yes that’s what brother and sisters do laugh and fight. For me, it’s a little different because some days I get home from work and my brother hasn’t moved out of his bed all day and looks so pale and depressed.  I can barely get a conversation out of him a lot of the time so the days that I see him so very happy and talkative I cherish it – which is why this week I decided to take a break.

After having a typical chat on Sunday we went downstairs and he taught me some boxing – that is when I caught in the corner of my eye a glimpse of my dad’s smile. Both my mum and dad looked so happy and relieved that Kyle was out of his room and laughing with us all.

That night I lay in bed thinking about what a beautiful evening I had with my brother, I thought about how difficult it must be for him to feel so alone – in fact I thought many of thoughts. I had a sudden sense of guilt that I come home from work every day to blog, and I know my brother is completely fine with that because he wants me to do what makes me happy but a little bit of guilt sprung upon me. So, I decided that this week my time would be dedicated all to him. And that is the real reason I haven’t blogged or been on social media as much this week!

And what a fantastic week we have had.

From boxing training in our living room to sitting watching the National Television Awards with a tub of Ben & Jerrys it was all bloooomin fun.

Not only has it been a fun week but it has been a blessing for me to see my brother smile for more than one odd day and to hear him laugh for several more days.

Oh and may I add I am still bloody praising him despite him waking me up at 2am, 4am and 5:30am every night to ask me random questions like: his date of birth or if I want a Jaffa cake!! A bloody Jaffa cake at 4am.

So to anyone that has got this far…

Be there for someone whether they have mental health or not.

Drop your exercise class for a night.

Drop cooking tea – get a takeaway.

Drop cleaning your bathroom – do it tomorrow.

Drop scrolling through social media – look at someone and talk to them instead.

Be there for your loved ones – you never know when you might need someone to be there for you.

xxx

 

Monthly goal review

Ok so pretty ‘naff’ month with my goals. I started this month with motivation to achieve my set goals unfortunately this was not the case. However, I did achieve some plus there’s always next month.

Embrace Wales

With working full time and having quite a hectic month it’s been quite difficult to do this and I haven’t really explored somewhere new yet. However, I did go to London and explore when attending my first blogging event.

Bedroom Makeover Continue reading

Starting University – My Advice

I am officially a graduate – still sounds weird. It became official on Friday 21st July and it already seems like a lifetime ago. Is it just me that thinks this year is flying? Anyway, considering it’s that month of September where the whole routine makes a comeback I thought it would be a good time to reflect on my three years at university and share my tips and advice with you guys…

1. It’s ok to admit you are scared/ anxious/ lost

More than likely you will be moving away from home. Now if going somewhere new on your own isn’t a scary thought I don’t know what is. I remember packing up my stuff ready to leave my home that I had never left longer than 10 days, and I felt a whole load of emotions. I was shouting at my mum, hugging my boyfriend goodbye, and smothering my pup. I think the hardest part is actually getting and the car and going. Once I was on my way my sadness turned to excitement and I was ready to start my new journey. But having that cry and breakdown before I went was ok because I was able to admit my feelings. I guess it was better to do it around people who loved me rather than having to deal with it later on my own.

2. Leave your comfort zone and make new friends

Don’t be afraid to hang around in the kitchen and introduce yourself to your new flat mates you’ll feel much better rather than being sat on your own. My biggest tip is find somebody on your course and message them to meet this was a life-changer for me! Just by searching someone on Facebook I made a friend for life and felt much more at ease knowing I had somebody to walk with and talk to on my first day. Continue reading

Having a sibling with autism…

If you want to know something about sport, he will tell you the name of the person that plays for what team. He’ll even tell you the date they joined if you have a tendency to know.

If you ask him about a holiday, he will tell you it was to Portugal 2011, and on the Thursday we went to watch Barcelona play and they won 3-0. The last time he ate prawns was on a Friday 4 years ago, but he didn’t like the texture. He is one of a kind with the most wonderful abilities.

He is caring. He is funny. He is him.

His ways are not like mine and not like many, his unique ways often get seen as ‘weird’.

My brother has autism.

Acceptance wasn’t easy. The typical words of certain teachers saying he’s not as well behaved as you or he doesn’t take after you, the look on my friends / boyfriends face when they first heard the funny noises he would make.

To compensate for the disability, I decided I needed to be the best at everything. For as long as I remember, I dreamt about going to university and making my parents above and beyond proud. I wanted to be that clever child that people didn’t expect. To me, I could be the only ‘proof’ that my parents were good parents so that other people didn’t judge. Let me tell you I could not have been more wrong…

To be that person dealing with a disability on a day-to-day basis means every day is something different. One day it’s chaotic the next it’s rewarding. You grow up before your time. I remember a friend saying to me you’ve grown up far too quick, but I always had that motherly instinct. I felt like in school I needed to be there for him. Why has he had no dinner? Why is he walking around on his own? Sometimes I love him and sometimes I hate him and that’s ok. You have to change a lot – maybe put your phone on silent or change the time you shower so it doesn’t interrupt his routine. However, the life experiences you gain turn you into a caring and independent adult who knows the true value of family.

I have always been a confident person; I could talk the legs off a donkey (literally). So, trying to understand and accept that my brother didn’t want to hang out with friends or go out anywhere was difficult. At times, I often felt confused how somebody could be so scared to talk to other people (I mean I loved it). I didn’t understand why he didn’t want a phone – I couldn’t part with mine. I wondered and still do wonder on his bad days if he does hate his big sister, but then an hour later he wants a movie night with me. I didn’t understand why he looked so normal but he didn’t act what is judged as ‘the norm’.

What I don’t question is will he be ok? Because I know he will be. He has faced challenges that I myself and you will probably never face. He is a blessing that has made me more aware of all the differences around us. Because of him I am a more patient, kind and helpful lady.

Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are; accepting that each individual is different and some a little bit more different makes you a better person. At no time is anyone above you. Disabilities unravels feelings and emotions, you never know where the tunnel ends, but you walk with your family and travel the distance. My parents are the most inspiring, caring and loving people and with their determination and persistence, Kyle and I have grown up as strong young adults with respect, love and loyalty.

To him, you are you. Don’t you ever change. The crazy outbursts you have has made us stronger. You have defined caring and family for me. By your side I will always stay.

To any siblings, you are brave and your mum and dad love you just as much, but your sibling needs that extra bit of attention. Keep being bold and brave. You do get your rewards; they are your reward.

 

If anybody would like a chat about having some in your life that has a disability, please contact me so we can share our stories and tips.

Does anybody have any positive memories or tips on being a sibling to someone with autism?

xxx

 

 

 

Easter Updates

Well that is the Easter madness over for another year. Now it’s time to get back on track ditch the alcohol and chocolate and focus. But just for this moment let me reflect on how fun the past weeks I have been…

Firstly I have completed some things off my bucket list yaaay!

1) I did a 160ft Bungee Jump!

YES that’s right I did it and I was hungover. It’s something I have always wanted to do. I love that feeling of adrenaline but I just hadn’t got round to it. Cutting a long story short it was my boyfriends 24th birthday so I decided it would make a good present – not sure he thought the same though haha! Anyway despite me burying my head in his chest whilst we jumped over Salford Quays it was an amazing experience and something I am very proud of. Next goal is a sky dive! Continue reading